Among the many holiday traditions that we go through are
finding the fine balance between indulging in all the requisite holiday
traditions with children while not creating a burning hatred of the holidays
within yourself.
Considering that I live in one of the largest urban centers
of the known universe, I am very much averse to crowds and would rather not go
where there is a crush of people. And it’s not that these are New York crowds
that makes my hatred of crowds so strong, I’ve found that in places like
Atlanta, where the crowds are often suburbanites with not concept of urban life
or shared space, people are more likely to get on your nerves and not know how
to move or act in a crowded space. New York has more than its share of clueless
retards who don’t know how to ride an escalator or even walk down a hallway,
but there is at least a baseline population of those that do that can make life
here bearable.
So the holidays tend to bring the tourists and other urban
amateurs within the five boroughs to see the sights and sounds. We need their
tourist dollars to help keep this show afloat, but we can see a lot of
beautiful holiday stuff without having to endure the hoard of vapid
slow-walkers that make visiting our beautiful city a shit show.
When some of my family wanted to head to Times Square the
day after Christmas a few years ago, I thought they were out of their minds. I
still went along with them anyway because I didn’t want to miss out on spending
some time with family. While I was trying to navigate my way out of the giant
M&Ms World store, I vowed to no god that I would avoid crushing holiday
crowds at all cost.
I am very lucky and in a rare position as a New York City
dweller in that I have regular access to an automobile. Part of that is a
function of where in the city I live. I’m in a more suburban part of Eastern
Queens. I’m still in the thick of a crowded city, but I’m in an area where
driving a car is not the abysmal insanity that it is in Manhattan or parts of
Brooklyn. That gives us options to get to places that are off limits to a lot
of my family and friends, including people with kids, so take my advice with a
grain of salt.
I had a day off of work and we managed to get our brood,
along with the help of grandparents, to Hicks Nurseries on Long Island. It
has a lot of beautiful holiday stuff there – really nice trees and ornaments
that lend dignity and beauty to the holiday. They also have a lot of the
schlocky crap you’d expect people from Long Island to love (sorry Long Island
friends but it’s true).
Hicks Nurseries on a weekday is a good time, on the weekend
it’s a madhouse. It’s a nice madhouse and a nice place to get Christmas stuff,
but a madhouse nonetheless – their credit card readers are also ancient and it
declined my credit card even though it wasn’t overdrawn or anything.
While I try not to simply phone it in for the holidays, I
want to lead by example for the children. If your kids see you going apeshit
over Christmas, they’re going to go apeshit over Christmas too. If you act like
Santa is maybe no big deal, then your kids won’t ask to stand in line for an
hour to meet a man in a Santa suit. So when I saw people lining up an hour
ahead of time to meet “Santa” at Hicks, I knew I didn’t want to linger. We did
buy a tree though despite their credit card malfeasance.
For a good Santa with little to no waiting, head to OldWestbury Gardens. It’s a worthwhile place to visit any time of the
year. It’s the former estate of wealthy attorney and industrial heir John
Shaffer Phipps that is now open to the public and well preserved. There are
interesting events there all year round. We brought our kids there for an arts
& crafts event and discovered that they have a Santa Claus there on the
weekends. There was no waiting. It was free (with admission to the grounds) and
the Santa was friendly. Our girls did not want to sit on Santa’s lap and even
expressed some skepticism afterwards (“Santa didn’t say ‘Ho, ho ho,’” one of
our girls observed).
I’m very much looking forward to the holidays this year, and
not just because I’m going to be getting some nice gifts and eat delicious
food, but because I’m going to be spending more time with family, including my
smart and tough daughters. Our family has had a lot of down moments this year,
with death and illnesses putting a damper on everything. But getting to take
time away from the busy workday and put in time with family, where it counts,
is something to be joyous about, even in the most jaded of times.
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