Monday, May 02, 2011

How to Celebrate Osama Bin Laden’s Death

Tonight I am living large and smoking a celebratory cigar to the welcome news of the death of Osama Bin Laden. He killed thousands of innocent people and brought death and destruction to my city and country. He had nothing positive to offer the world and embodied ignorant and blind obedience to a twisted ideology. I hope he was killed with bullets dipped in pig’s blood and that families of September 11 victims get the chance to piss on his corpse.

We should thoroughly enjoy this moment and savor this outstanding event. But it would be a shame if we think that our work is totally done. After we get done congratulating the good people who ended Bin Laden’s sorry life, let’s make sure we do the following:

1. Remain vigilant. Al Qaeda and its imitators will be looking to avenge Bin Laden’s death. There are also many other fundamentalist groups all over the world that remain as committed as every to the sick causes of Al Qaeda. We need to get them too, whether they’re in Kabul or Kalamazoo.

2. Not create another Bin Laden. We funded Islamic extremists in Afghanistan because they were against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Soviet communism was bad, but communism is a dream compared with the kind of world Islamic fundamentalists want to create. Bin Laden’s kind were wacky fundamentalists when we supported them. We’ll make the same mistake again if we support people just because they are against the Middle East’s dictators we can no longer afford to prop up.

3. Stick with the tactics that work. We could have killed Bin Laden sooner if we had used the tactics we eventually used to kill him. It was a small group of special operations soldiers that got the job done. The large-scale invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq hurt rather than helped our fight against Al Qaeda. It’s going to be intelligence-driven, small-scale operations that will find and kill more Islamic terrorists.

4. Stop treating Islam with kid gloves. The overwhelming majority of Muslims are decent people and not terrorists or terrorist sympathizers. But violent fundamentalism plays a larger role in Islam than it does in other religions. And if Islam is ever going to evolve it has to learn to take its lumps like other religions.

5. Make sensible immigration reforms. Don’t think that terrorists can get into the U.S. again? Think again. We do not have enough safeguards to keep Islamic terrorists out of the country, especially from Europe. Make sure people coming into this country are not terrorists before we let them in. If that means we issue many fewer visas as a result and make lots of people angry, so be it. Let the world call us racists. I’d rather be a living “racist” than a politically correct corpse.


Anonymous said...

Just so you know, Osama wasn't a Muslim. He actually killed thousands of Muslims along with Al Qaeda. Although, there are a lot of Islamic fundamentalists that are in Al Qaeda, Osama persecuted them, so you can't call him something he is not.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous: OBL claimed he was, and portayed himself as a Muslim. Islam, like many other religions, has different sects and branches and some of them have no problem killing members of the others under the guise they are the "true" Muslims (like Christian protestants, catholics and orthodox).