Not Supporting Gay Marriage is Gay

I went to a wedding the other day and it was a very gay time. It was gay as in happy and it was gay as in homosexual. 

The couple consisted of my uncle Tim and his longtime partner Andrew. The two were legally registered as domestic partners in New York City when that became legal in the 1990s, but an official marriage sanctioned by New York State gives them more protections and they wanted to make it official.

True to form, their wedding was a class-act through and through and it took all the hype and bluster surrounding the gay marriage issue and flushed it down the proverbial toilet. It contained more dignity and heartfelt honesty in the few minutes it lasted than most of the church services I have had the misfortune to sit through. And by my count there were way more Christians and heterosexuals at this than Atheists or gays.

It was not that long ago that the term ‘gay marriage’ was an oxymoron—Of course gay people don’t get married; they’re gay, duh. One can support gay marriage without switching away from the default definition of marriage being a heterosexual institution; it’s how most of us came to identify the concept. You’re not a homophobe if announcing someone “husband and husband” sounds bad. You can support the rights of gays and still love the English language more. Gays aren’t asking for your approval; they’re asking to be left alone.

The debate over gay marriage in the U.S. consists of people of different political camps overlooking the same essential issue. The issue is: does the government have the right to regulate or the moral authority to approve the personal relationships between consenting adults? I think most of us agree it does not.

The reason gay marriage should be recognized is not because the government needs to be on a crusade to make us all love the gays. Society is changing its views of gays on its own. Gay marriage should be nationwide for reasons that Americans of all political stripes ought to believe: that free men and women have the right to determine their own next of kin and form relationships with whomever they choose. Put that to a vote and America will say yes.