Most Januaries are for a plethora
of resolutions that don’t normally survive the spring thaw. But here is one
that might work and improve your life if no one else’s: do one kind thing every
day this year.
I know, I know, imploring people to
be kind to each other is for hippies, religious folk and other delusional
softies. But hear me out. Doing your best to be kind to people will help you
out and make your life better. You’ll be happier with yourself.
Of course you shouldn’t be overly
deferential or fall into the trap of pathological altruism, the legions of
self-flagellating bleeding hearts are giving kindness a bad name. But a little
bit of human decency goes a long way in today’s world.
Don’t be afraid to be kind in fear
of it rendering you soft or foolish. Real kindness won’t make you weak. Being
kind and humane is in fact a sign of strength.
The truly hard people in the world don’t
need to be mean to people, they live the hard life when it counts and don’t
have anything to prove. I’ve met armed forces veterans who have killed people
in battle, I’ve met former I.R.A. bombers and others who did hardtime in prison and I’ve met drug dealers with visible bullet wound
scars on their bodies. All of them were nice and pleasant to speak with. They
knew who they were and didn’t need to put on a tough guy act.
The person who made the best case
for showing kindness on a daily basis was a former Marine who had seen some of
the most horrific famine and violence in Somalia. He suggested giving two
compliments a day to people and have at least several acts of kindness or
generosity in your recent memory when you go to bed at night. I’ve heard the
spiel about being nice and paying compliments to people from a lot of sources,
but his talk was the one that remains fresh in my mind. I knew he had seen some
of the worst the world has to offer, and the Marine Corps is the only institution in the world where
it’s a compliment to be called a “jarhead.”
This Marine understood something
that is easily lost in our world of cyber communication and online anonymous
hate. Human beings have an ingrained need to keep a check on their own
humanity. We are social creatures. For all of our individualist motivation, the
people who actually do live without connections to other
human beings wind up living like a scrambled mess. Simple acts of kindness to other
people reassure us that we are still able to function in the world.
In New York, citizens of the Big
Apple relish the tough reputation of our city, but also cherish the opportunity
to help tourists and strangers where appropriate. Our love of the city
motivates us to help others enjoy it and navigate its many quirks.
Be kind this year. You’ll be better
for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment