Though I have been subjected to it for many years, it’s only
been in the past year that the language known as “corporate speak” has been creeping
into my vocabulary. I must make it stop.
I switched jobs a little over a year ago and moved from the
thankless ranks of financial journalism to the thankless but better paying
ranks of financial public relations. For years as a
journalist I waded through corporate euphemisms and double talk. A journalist’s
job is to cut through corporate speak like an explorer cuts through dense
jungle. I didn’t loath public relations people, I just knew I could not sound
like one when I spoke or wrote if I wanted to be taken seriously.
I vowed to myself that I would not let this nonsensical and vacuous vocabulary
creep into my speech, but in some ways it has. There’s no prohibition from
sounding like a corporate automaton because now I work in public relations and
corporations pay our salaries. Corporations paid my salary when I was a
journalist also, but those businesses were depending on me NOT sounding like a
corporate mouthpiece in order for my work to me marketable.
Now I AM a corporate mouthpiece, whether I like it or not.
None of the companies I serve through my public relations job are ominous
monoliths that are trying to cloud the truth or cover up any wrongdoing; they
are for the most part small entrepreneurial companies doing some interesting
things, but they are companies that expect us to be their representatives to
the media. We have to be the bridge between the corporate world and the jaded,
skeptical world of journalists and we have to sound the part both ways.
Whenever you speak with someone, you want to sound like you
belong, like you understand where they are coming from. If everyone’s slinging
the same corporate bullshit, they’re establishing a rapport in some small way.
In agency public relations, you are not only selling your clients to media,
you’re constantly selling yourself to current and potential future clients.
Thus you have to sound like you could fit in at a corporate board meeting, and
that’s easier to do when you shovel two-cent words around like so much manure.
So as a writer who takes pride in my ability to find the
right works for any situation and a human being who decided long ago to embrace
reality-based life, it horrifies me to find myself using corporate speak in any
non-ironic capacity.
It’s only happened once or twice, but no matter. Like Ebola
or cancer, corporate speak must be wiped out entirely if you wish to survive in
the reality-based world.
The one phrase I’ve been guilty of using is “next steps” as
in “we’ll discuss next steps” instead of saying, “we’ll talk about what to do
next” or “what steps to take next.” Another word that’s lapsed into corporate
speak is “leverage,” such as “let’s leverage our resources to gain media
traction.” In my own overuse of the word “traction” regarding how to get media
attention, I risk making that corporate speak. Now both lever and traction are
real words that wouldn’t be corporate speak at all if you were talking about
pulleys, debt or driving over snow, but when applied to business situations and
overused, they become corporate speak. There are damning lists of useless and
pathetic phrases that comprise corporate speak. The list is always evolving.
There are a lot of things I am willing to do to provide for
my family. I’m willing to read work emails on the weekend, endure mind-numbing
meetings and phone calls that should have been emails, write trite crap about
boring topics and be courteous to asshole clients. But I won’t become a
corporate speak user. I have my limits.
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